SPORTSBEAT BY PETER JAKEY: Super Bowl commercials rated
Super Bowl commercials seem to receive more hype than the game, although it seems people were talking more about what happened at halftime this year. We won?t get into that. Millions of dollars are spent by companies promoting their products. The exposure they receive, and the money they make, is tremendous. This year, a 30-second commercial during the game cost $2.5 million.
AOL easily spent the most, with several ads costing well over $12 million to air. They weren?t the best commercials as far as I?m concerned. Here?s my top 10 list from Super Bowl 2004:
No. 10: Tissue towel. This was the commercial with the quarterback preparing to take the snap from his center. He was so caught up in touching the Charmin tissue over the center, the QB received strange looks from his teammates and a delay-of-game penalty.
No. 9: Horse lights candle. I can?t get into too much description with this one because this is a family newspaper. Guy needs candle lit. Horse lifts tail. You know the rest. I?m sure many more guys thought it was funny than women.
No. 8: Chevy trucks, soap in your mouth. Best attention-getter of all the ads, and ranked as the number one commercial in some polls. It starts with many different children with soap in their mouths. We wonder why — and later learn they saw the new Chevy truck. One was caught saying, ?Holy @#$%.?
No. 7: Van Helsing trailer. Universal is ready to roll out all of its famous monsters for this movie. One of many movie ads to appear this year, but the one that sold me the most.
No. 6: Thirsty grizzlies. Animals are in the spotlight every year during Super Bowl commercials and Pepsi introduced two grizzlies this year who use fake IDs to get Pepsi. A little hard to believe, but entertaining, just the same. Who needs an ID to buy pop?
No. 5: Alien shipping. This ad featured an alien taking over an office and it?s obvious there?s an alien sitting at the desk. The only thing keeping the alien in the position is the cardboard cut-out of a man?s face and a recording, telling fellow employees to use Fed Ex.
No. 4: Fight to the death. When you have two old folks who walk really slow, and take shots at each other in an attempt to take control of a bag of Frito Lays, it has the makings of a funny commercial.
No. 3: Fergus, Bud Light. Two men show off their dogs? ability to fetch a bottle of Bud Light. One dog does it the conventional way, with the proud
No. 2: Bud ref. It?s a typical scene in football. An official makes a call and goes to the sideline and hears an earful from an unhappy coach. In this humorous commercial, with the coach screaming at the stoic referee, the announcer wonders aloud how the ref tunes out the coach. The shot then cuts away to the referee sitting on his couch with his wife screaming at him. ?Why haven?t you changed the litter box? And another thing, you never say you love me anymore.?
No. 1: Homer gets errands done. It?s another masterpiece from Master Card, but this one was easy for me to rank number one because I?m a big fan of Homer Simpson. Homer is at his typical best in getting his errands done. He does them in the usual Master Card format. When it comes to the ?priceless? part, Homer?s at Moe?s with a mug of beer. The announcer says: ?Getting your errands done to spend more time with family,? but has to repeat himself because Homer isn?t where he should be. Homer leaves his beer and heads home. Honorable mentions go to the VISA Summer Olympics, Clydesdale donkey, Wallace in his kilt doing his impression of Marilyn Monroe, and Randy the supply supervisor (Staples). The worst of the commercials had to be the Levitra ads with former NFL coach Mike Ditka. It?s bad enough that drug commercials and their lengthy disclaimers drive me nuts, but Ditka bashed baseball in one of them. Oh, the horror.