SPORTSBEAT BY PETER JAKEY: Fantasy draft central
The lengths a group of grown men will go to draft a fantasy football team may surprise you, and seem absurd, but what great fun. I was on the phone with fellow fantasy football owner Nathan Wilson of Rogers City, who was going to draft his 2006 team online, and told him to set aside an afternoon, because that is what it usually takes. All the owners seemed pleased when 15 rounds of drafting were completed in 4 hours and 15 minutes. I thought it would go faster.
Draft central has been held at my Dad?s cottage in Wooden Shoe, just outside of Gladwin. I still have not figured out if the town is named for the Wooden Shoe Bar, or the other way around, because there is not much there. It makes Posen look like a sprawling metropolis. The drive to Wooden Shoe and back took as long as the draft itself, two hours and 15 minutes each way. That?s not bad when you consider another fantasy football fanatic from Rogers City who drove to Grand Rapids for his draft last Saturday. His league is tougher because, if you don?t show up for the draft in person, you don?t get a team. To me, the jackpot is not as important as winning, or claiming the shiny traveling trophy. The gas to get there cost more than the admission fee to the league.
FIVE OWNERS drafted in person, three picked their team online from Florida, Georgia, and Rochester, while two owners were not near a computer and had to be called on the telephone, when it was time to select a player. That alone was a time killer. The draft featured arguments between co-owners, several ugly comments made on the Internet, and as usual, a few ?snicker picks.? The label ?snicker pick? goes to the owner who makes the biggest boneheaded selection. The first snicker pick at this year?s draft went to Ben, our owner in Georgia. He has been known to take chances on players that have resulted in poor records and high draft choices. In our league, the draft order is determined by the record from the previous season. When Ben picked Carson Palmer early in the third round, there was lots of laughter in the draft room. After blowing his knee out and not playing one down of football since last year?s playoffs, it did not look like a good pick, until Monday?s pre-season game, where he looked sharp. Palmer still could end up being the steal of the draft. Anything can happen in fantasy football. A team labeled the worst on draft day can ultimately end up in first. The best snicker pick story I remember was bringing in a new owner and having him pick Phil Simms as quarterback. The problem with that was Simms had retired and was getting ready to broadcast games on television.
NEW THIS year was the ?Cone of Silence.? A throw back to the spy-spoof television show ?Get Smart,? our oldest owners, who are pushing 60, went under the cone of silence every time they made a selection, meaning they walked out on the lawn, out of listening range of the rest of us. The cone of silence wasn?t so silent. The Road Runners, as they will call themselves, were both seen and heard arguing and telling each other to ?shut up!? They had their Coke supply and
Ben was the recipient of lots of abuse. That is typical of owners drafting online, and for Ben in general. In one Internet rant directed at the owner of the Beer Bellies, who took a considerable amount of time picking a kicker in the 12th round, Ben was giving him a hard time. Bellies reminded Ben, that while it took a while to pick a kicker, the league did not have to wait too long for the first snicker pick.
ALL AND ALL, it was an enjoyable afternoon. My Dad, who cooked the brats on the barbecue before the bad weather moved in, loved the company, and it was another chance to hang out with my brother. We talk more on the telephone during the fantasy football season than at any other time of the year. I still will have to remind him not to call me at The Advance on Tuesdays. It does not seem to be a problem any other time of the year.